Let’s be honest – we all have an inner voice, and sometimes, it can be our own worst critic. Negative self-talk is that relentless voice that questions our abilities, doubts our decisions, and makes us feel “not quite good enough.” Sound familiar? If so, you’re not alone! The great news is that you don’t have to keep listening to that inner critic. With the right approach, you can turn down the volume on self-doubt and start backing yourself up instead.

What Exactly Is Negative Self-Talk?

Negative self-talk is that running commentary in our minds that focuses on our weaknesses or flaws. It’s that voice that says things like:

• “I can’t pull this off.”

• “I always mess things up.”

• “I’m just not as capable as others.”

This type of thinking isn’t just annoying – it chips away at our confidence, productivity, and even our relationships. When we’re caught in a cycle of criticism and doubt, it’s so easy to start believing it’s true. That’s why learning to recognise and handle this self-talk can be a real game-changer and get you to where you want to be faster.

The Different Types of Negative Self-Talk

Negative self-talk can pop up in different forms, so here’s a quick breakdown of the most common ones:

• Filtering – Zeroing in on the negatives and ignoring anything positive. Say you receive feedback that’s both good and constructive – filtering means you only remember the critique.

• Personalising – Taking the blame for things that aren’t really your responsibility. If a team project goes wrong, you might think, “This is all on me.”

• Catastrophising – Always expecting the worst. A tiny mistake can suddenly feel like the end of the world.

• Polarising – Seeing things in black and white. It’s either success or failure, with no middle ground.

Why Is Negative Self-Talk So Harmful?

When negative self-talk becomes a habit, it doesn’t just make us feel bad – it holds us back. It drains our confidence, keeps us from taking on challenges, and makes goals feel out of reach. Over time, this self-criticism can stop us from growing and really achieving our potential.

5 Steps to Overcome Negative Self-Talk

Changing the way we talk to ourselves isn’t easy, but it’s absolutely worth it. Here are five simple steps to get started:

1. Notice the Pattern
   The first step is awareness. Start noticing when that negative self-talk kicks in and what triggers it. Are there certain situations or people that bring it out? Awareness is the foundation for change.

2. Challenge and Reframe
   When you catch yourself in negative thinking, try to challenge it. Ask yourself, “Is this really true, or am I making assumptions?” If you’re thinking, “I always mess things up,” try shifting it to, “I’ve had some challenges, but I’m learning and improving each time.” This small change can make a big difference!

3. Show Yourself Some Compassion
   Imagine a friend was in your situation – how would you respond to them? Most likely with kindness and encouragement, right? Give yourself the same courtesy. Perfection isn’t the goal; growth is.

4. Bring Yourself Back to the Present
   Negative self-talk often drags us back into the past or sends us spiralling into worries about the future. Ground yourself in the present by taking a few deep breaths or focusing on what’s happening right now. Staying in the moment helps shift focus away from those worries.

5. Create Positive Affirmations
   Affirmations can feel a bit strange at first, but they’re powerful tools. Write down a few statements that remind you of your worth and abilities. Try, “I am capable and learning every day,” or “I am worthy of success and happiness.” Repeat these whenever you need a confidence boost.

Remember, You’re Not Alone

Overcoming negative self-talk is a journey, not a destination. Be patient with yourself; it’s completely normal to have setbacks. With each small step, you’ll find your inner voice growing kinder and more encouraging. Imagine being able to look in the mirror and feel like your own best friend instead of your harshest critic.

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